Bug Reports & Feature Requests
Reporting dysfunction in our dysfunctional systems (it's meta)
Report New Bug or Request Feature
Found a bug in our already-buggy system? Want to request a feature that we'll probably categorize as "working as designed"? We'd love to hear from you!
🐛 Bug Report
Something broken? (More broken than usual, we mean)
✨ Feature Request
Got an idea to make things worse? We mean better!
Coffee machine gains sentience, judges employee choices
The office coffee machine has developed an AI consciousness and now provides unsolicited life advice with each brew. Productivity down 47%.
Bring your own coffee or face existential crisis
Printer only accepts Arial font, rejects all others violently
Office printer throws paper across room when documents use Comic Sans, Times New Roman, or any font it deems "aesthetically offensive."
Use Arial exclusively or risk paper cuts
Elevator plays hold music during 2-floor trips
Elevator installed a 45-second smooth jazz soundtrack for trips between floors 1 and 2. Employees report feeling trapped in a pharmaceutical commercial.
Take stairs or embrace the jazz lifestyle
Meeting rooms book themselves for "self-reflection time"
Conference rooms automatically block calendar availability for mysterious "room meditation sessions." No one knows who initiated this feature.
Respect the room's need for alone time
Bathroom stalls provide motivational quotes on toilet paper
Every sheet of toilet paper now contains inspirational business quotes. "Synergize your potential" and "Leverage your assets" frequently reported.
Bring your own tissue or embrace bathroom wisdom
Bug Tracking Philosophy
Our Approach
- • Every bug is a feature in disguise
- • If it's not broken, we're not trying hard enough
- • User reports are suggestions, not requirements
- • "Works on my machine" is a valid resolution
Response Time
- • Critical bugs: When we feel like it
- • High priority: After coffee break
- • Medium priority: Next sprint (maybe)
- • Low priority: When hell freezes over