Corporate Overlords
Meet the brilliant minds behind Joblins' revolutionary approach to workplace dysfunction. Each leader brings their own special brand of professional disappointment to the table.
Our Core Values
Transparency
We openly admit we have no idea what we're doing
Innovation
Finding new ways to disappoint stakeholders daily
Excellence
Setting the bar so low it's underground
Collaboration
Working together to achieve maximum dysfunction
Department Hierarchy
Chad Overlord
Background
Chad brings 15 years of experience in making other people's lives miserable while maintaining a perfect LinkedIn presence. He founded Joblins after a particularly soul-crushing corporate retreat where he realized he could monetize everyone else's suffering.
Notable Achievements
- •Failed startup that sold meditation apps to insomniacs
- •Consulting firm that helped companies "optimize" their layoffs
- •Brief stint as a life coach (got fired for making clients cry)
Favorite Buzzwords
Fun Facts
- •Has never actually used the product he's selling
- •Owns 47 different business books (hasn't read any)
- •Records daily LinkedIn motivation videos from his garage
- •Believes "hustle culture" is a personality trait
Karen Chaos
Background
Karen specializes in creating bureaucratic nightmares and implementing processes that slow everything down. She has a PhD in Making Simple Things Complicated and a black belt in Micromanagement.
Notable Achievements
- •Implemented a 47-step approval process for office supplies
- •Created mandatory training for using staplers
- •Organized team-building exercises during flu season
Favorite Buzzwords
Fun Facts
- •Has 237 different spreadsheets for tracking other spreadsheets
- •Schedules meetings to discuss scheduling meetings
- •Color-codes her emails by urgency (everything is red)
- •Believes every problem can be solved with more meetings
Brad Blockchain
Background
Brad is convinced that blockchain can solve every problem, including world hunger and his dating life. He speaks exclusively in acronyms and has never met a buzzword he didn't like.
Notable Achievements
- •Built a blockchain solution for tracking coffee consumption
- •Created an AI that only generates tech buzzwords
- •Spent 6 months building a "revolutionary" to-do list app
Favorite Buzzwords
Fun Facts
- •Has 14 different crypto wallets (lost access to 13)
- •Explains every problem as "we need an API for that"
- •Owns more domain names than friends
- •Believes NFTs are the future of human relationships
Sarah Suffering
Background
Sarah has mastered the art of making employees feel valued while simultaneously crushing their spirits. She can deliver bad news with a smile and make you grateful for your own misery.
Notable Achievements
- •Implemented "Mandatory Fun Fridays" (attendance required)
- •Created personality tests that only had wrong answers
- •Organized a company retreat to a haunted house
Favorite Buzzwords
Fun Facts
- •Has never taken her own advice about work-life balance
- •Collects motivational posters ironically
- •Practices saying "we value your feedback" in the mirror
- •Believes pizza parties solve all workplace problems
Mike Marketing
Background
Mike can turn any product into a "game-changing solution that revolutionizes the industry." He speaks fluent marketing BS and can make washing dishes sound like a disruptive innovation.
Notable Achievements
- •Launched a viral campaign that went viral for all the wrong reasons
- •Created a brand mascot that became a meme (and not the good kind)
- •Ran a social media contest that accidentally broke the internet
Favorite Buzzwords
Fun Facts
- •Measures everything in conversion rates (including relationships)
- •Has A/B tested his own dating profile
- •Speaks in call-to-action phrases during normal conversations
- •Believes every surface is potential ad space
Want to Join Our Dysfunction?
We're always looking for new talent to add to our roster of professional disappointment. If you think you have what it takes to make people's working lives worse, we want to hear from you!