Corporate Dysfunction Tools
Proprietary systems designed to maximize workplace inefficiency and employee exploitation. Access requires completed application.
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⚠️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER
These tools may cause existential dread, financial loss, and/or spontaneous career changes. HR is not responsible for psychological damage.
Achievement Surveillance System
Comprehensive badge collection program to track your descent into corporate despair. Each milestone carefully monitored and rewarded.
Badge acquisition increases dopamine dependency.
Dr. Binary Therapeutic Services
AI-powered psychological evaluation and billing system. Specializes in workplace trauma monetization and corporate gaslighting recovery.
Sessions billed at premium therapeutic rates.
Viral Recruitment Pyramid
Multi-level suffering distribution network. Climb the corporate hierarchy by systematically corrupting your social network.
Friendship destruction not covered by warranty.
Real-Time Crisis Monitoring
Live dysfunction metrics and company-wide catastrophe tracking. Experience shared workplace trauma in real-time.
Chaos levels may exceed OSHA recommendations.